5 Things I Regret Doing after Having Kids

5 Things I Regret Doing after Having Kids

Despite wanting to be a mother all of my life, and feeling like it was never going to happen, motherhood actually came with a bit of a bang for me.

I expected my life to change of course, to become busier, chaotic, messy, exhausting.  All of those things.

I quickly resigned myself to sleep being a thing of that past and having such little time to myself in the day time that I had to learn to be productive after hours.

I’ve always lived with being somewhere between being an insomniac and a night owl.  I love sleep, I LOVE it but it doesn’t always come naturally to me.  I could manage it pre-kids because at some point, after a long week of sleepless nights, I would eventually just crash out and get a decent stretch of sleep to reinvigorate me and clear my mind.

When you have one child, let alone two, finding that time to catch up on sleep can be pretty much impossible and for me, sleep deprivation means one thing…stupid decisions!  Especially after my first baby was born.

There I was, baby in one arm, caffeine/sugar-infused drink in another and ready to take on the world.  Or so I thought!

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So here are the 5 things I regret doing after having kids:

1.  Listening to too much advice

Before I go on, let me clarify that I LOVE hearing advice from others.  When it’s welcomed of course.  What I do regret is letting myself get so wound up by the vastly different advice I got from friends, family, strangers in the street and of course, Dr Google.

“Let the baby sleep.”  “Wake the baby up.”  “You’re not feeding them enough.”  “Are you feeding them AGAIN?”  Argh, shut up!

I was an anxious first-time mum who just wanted to be prepared for everything that might happen or might go wrong so I allowed everyone to pass their pearls of wisdom on to me, even when unwanted.

I wish I’d had the guts to, politely, tell some people to shut the fluff up and let me just get on with things.  You know, politely.

2.  Cutting all my hair off

I know I know, this is vain and so so predictable but after my first baby was born it just dawned on me that life would be so much easier if I chopped half of my hair off.  It just would, wouldn’t it?

So two weeks’ after she was born I hopped on the bus to the hairdresser with elbow length hair and hopped out with a Bob.  True to tradition, regrets followed swiftly, possibly as quickly as the next day.  My Samson-like strength disappeared with my hair as it was swept off the salon’s floor and in it’s place was a different-looking me that I wasn’t ready for.

Plus let me tell you, bobs are NOT easier to manage than long hair – the opposite in fact!  And my hair takes years to grow an inch.

I did warn you that this one was vain.

3.  Not trusting my gut instinct

Let’s pop back to the aforementioned omniscient entity that is Google.  Dr Google.

In the early days months I would spend my time googling the most ridiculous things, worrying about such unnecessary stuff.  Mainly sleep related!

I thought that the only person who knew more than Dr Google did was my Mum – and oh yes, she really does!  I just wish I’d trusted my own gut instinct on so many situations too instead of whipping myself into a frenzy by googling EVERY ‘new mum’ situation I was faced with instead of just using my own common sense.

I’m much more relaxed second time around, I will add!

4.  Eating too much

During my first pregnancy I ate so well and only gained 9kgs which was perfect for my baby and pre-baby weight.  After I had her, I lost the baby weight in 6 days.  SIX DAYS!  It just went.

“Ha ha!” I thought as I lost a bit more whilst munching on chocolate biscuits, “this is EASY!”.  And it was, because for me, breastfeeding was burning away those calories and my baby fed often.

But then she started to sleep through the night which of course was wonderful but by then I was eating enough Tim Tams for ten and that weight slowly crept its way back on.  And on.  Damn it!

This is why I signed up to Weight Watchers fairly soon after my second baby was born.  Whilst I didn’t want to lose weight rapidly, I just needed something to keep me in check so I didn’t go crazy again.

5.  Not taking more videos of the babies

I don’t want to turn into a parent who spends more time clicking a camera in front of my kids faces than actually enjoying their company but I do wish I’d taken some more videos of them because I just love watching them back!

I do have some though, and it isn’t like I can take videos of everything they do.  I just need to keep reminding myself to take more as the baby years don’t last long.

How about you, any regrets or rash decisions after you had kids?  Anything you’d do differently or any advice for new parents?

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  1. 21st September 2015 / 9:53 pm

    I’ve got some of the same regrets, especially not videoing my boy as a newborn- I literally didn’t do a single video until he was about a month old, and now I can’t really remember what he was like :-( Also definitely googling waay too much! I think I’ll be much more relaxed second time round too. I’m so glad I didn’t chop my hair off though (even though it all seemed to be falling out at one point!)

    • 22nd September 2015 / 9:53 am

      I wish I’d done more so much – I love watching them back too! x

  2. 21st September 2015 / 10:44 pm

    I have the same regrets! listening to conflicting advice & turning to Dr Google – Google was fatal during sleepless nights! And eating too much is a huge problem for me! I’m thinking of joining Slimming World now

    • 22nd September 2015 / 9:53 am

      Ooh I’ve done Slimming World before, it’s good! x

  3. Emma
    22nd September 2015 / 9:52 am

    Agree completely with the hair. I had lovely long hair then thought a bob would make things easier. Imagine my very round baby weight face and Bob. Not a good look.

    • 22nd September 2015 / 9:55 am

      Me tooo with the round face – if only hair grew back over night :) x

    • 23rd September 2015 / 6:24 am

      Jealous – Mr M doesn’t remember either! x

  4. 23rd September 2015 / 12:24 pm

    I am with you on all of these – such an anxious time and you are so right about trusting your gut! I can’t believe you lost the weight in six days btw! Amazing! I’m off to video Lottie now xx

    • 23rd September 2015 / 2:52 pm

      Aww take lots of videos of that little beauty! I only wish I had kept it off – what a wasted opportunity ha! x

  5. 23rd September 2015 / 11:13 pm

    Great advice. I don’t have any children yet but I’ll definitely take these on board when I do. Especially the advice part? Oh and the hair. I’ve got such long hair I’d probably cry. Great post!


    • 23rd September 2015 / 11:16 pm

      Thank you! Ah I was devastated – bad bad hair decision! x

  6. 23rd September 2015 / 11:23 pm

    Oh my goodness, I haven’t taken videos of the kids for ages. Thank you SO much for the reminder!!!!!

    • 23rd September 2015 / 11:28 pm

      Ha ha my pleasure! I must remember! x

  7. Musing Mumma
    24th September 2015 / 9:22 am

    I hear you on the weight one. I curse my post-birth smugness every time I look in the mirror! Bahahaha! #brilliantblogposts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:25 pm

      Ha ha it’s so unfair isn’t it – I want to rewind the clock! x

  8. 24th September 2015 / 12:29 am

    Great post! I think most of us parents, especially us first time ones can relate to a fair few things on your list. You live and you learn though ;-). I regret listening/reading up too much on things that could help my baby sleep better. None of it worked, all of it stressed me out and it probably made the whole experience 10 times worse. Next time with no 2 Ill try to go with the flow a lot more! #BrilliantBlogPosts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:22 pm

      You really do live and learn – second time around I’m much less crazy (I hope!) x

  9. 24th September 2015 / 2:18 am

    I regret not slowing down to enjoy them when they were little and wishing away the sleepless nights and clinginess. Makes me sad thinking about it! I miss my babies but they are equally adorable as little boys.

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:22 pm

      Oh yes I know that feeling well! x

  10. 24th September 2015 / 2:19 am

    Have also always been an insomniac/night owl, and now don’t get the catch up time I used to have. I regret not saying absolutely no to some things I got pushed into having to put up with, especially when first was newborn. I did say no, but I got walked over and I should have just said that it wasn’t up for discussion. Bit cryptic I know, but don’t want to offend anyone (just in case)! #brilliantblogposts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:23 pm

      Urgh I was exactly the same and still annoyed at myself that I didn’t stand my ground more – I feel like I know exactly how you feel :) x

  11. 24th September 2015 / 4:27 am

    Yes! I listened to too much advice from others when I had my first bub. Drove me mad with all the contradictions! I wish I took more videos too – they grow up way too fast. #BrilliantBlogPost

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:24 pm

      That’s just it, everyone is sure their advice is right but it’s completely different than the next persons! x

  12. becca farrelly
    24th September 2015 / 6:06 pm

    A lovely post! I have some of the same regrets as you and same experiences. I too put next to no weight on during pregnancy and was back in my normal skinny jeans 10 days after Mia was born HOWEVER since having her, I have put on a stone so iam desperately trying to get back my postbaby confidence! A regret i have is not taking many photos of me and mia together when she was little. Shes almost 2 1/2 now and we have a grand total of 6 photos with me in!!!
    Iam glad I came across your post :)


    • 26th September 2015 / 7:29 pm

      I’m exactly the same – I feel like I’m always taking pics of the kids with everyone else – we need someone to return the favour! x

  13. 24th September 2015 / 9:40 am

    Such great advice. I regret all of these apart from the hair one. I was pre-warned that new mums want to overhaul their look to re-find themselves by my hairdresser, she refused to cut my hair haha. I’m glad she did! I really wish i took more videos now too. x #brilliantblogposts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:25 pm

      Thank you so much! Ha I made my husband and hairdresser promise me they wouldn’t let me do the same second time around! x

  14. 24th September 2015 / 9:53 am

    I totally agree about the advice and the googling – my natural reaction if I don’t know something is to do a bit of research. A few books and 27 websites later, and I had way too much conflicting information! #brilliantblogposts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:26 pm

      Ha ha that’s me too – none the wiser even after all the research! x

  15. 24th September 2015 / 10:05 am

    The one about the hair – it seems like a good idea at the time but I felt even more not like myself and didn’t know the person in the mirror anymore- thankfully I learnt my lesson! #brilliantblogposts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:26 pm

      Glad I’m not alone! I’ll never have it that short again, what a mistake! x

  16. 24th September 2015 / 11:42 am

    I think we all have regrets but I think that’s part of being a parent. We have to learn and only by doing it can we. It’s a tough job and taking/listening to advice is part of it, and then learning to ignore said advice is too. I think the older we get, and the more children we have, the more confident we get (sometimes). As with everything it’s all about learning and experience. There are many things I wish I’d done differently, but if I had then perhaps I wouldn’t have learned what I have. :)
    Great post. x

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:27 pm

      That’s so true, we need to make the mistakes to learn that they actually are mistakes and not to do them again :) I’m so much more confident second time around too x

  17. 24th September 2015 / 12:05 pm

    Great post. It really is in at the deep end isn’t it! With my first I was pushed into leaving him way before I was ready. Everyone kept telling me to have an evening out and he would be fine. I knew he would be fine but I didn’t want to leave him. I did and I had an awful time and felt really anxious and annoyed that I had been bullied into something I wasn’t ready for. Second time round I stood my ground and did it when I was ready. #brilliantblogposts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:28 pm

      I’m right there with you – I put up with much more first time that I wouldn’t stand for now – we’re more confident this time aren’t we :) x

  18. 24th September 2015 / 9:36 pm

    I definitely wish I’d not listened to too much advice – I think all new mums do it! I also wished I had taken more videos of my babies in the early days – they go by so quick! Don’t get me started on weight!! I am still struggling with that one 2 and a half years later! #BrillBlogPosts

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:29 pm

      Urgh I know I know – it isn’t fair – stupid pregnancy weight! x

  19. 24th September 2015 / 10:36 pm

    Guilty of all of these. Expect when I decided to cut my hair when I was pregnant. Let me tell you, a pixie cut when pregnant, fat and swollen is NOT a good look!

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:30 pm

      Oh dear – well, pregnancy can make you feel ready for anything ha ha! x

  20. 25th September 2015 / 1:55 am

    I totally understand the need to trust your own gut instinct. I don’t have kids, but I have to trust my intuition more too. Oh and boy can I relate to eating too much! Btw, I’m also somewhat of a night owl/insomniac/hypersomniac mixture (it’s now nearly 3AM). Via #brilliantblogposts.

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:31 pm

      Hurray, it isn’t just me up at in the early hours! x

  21. 25th September 2015 / 10:37 am

    Great list. Completely agree with the first one, second one – about to chop my hair off myself (maybe I need to review this?), third and fourth, this is definitely me, and fifth, I think it’s so difficult to strike the right balance and some days I leave my phone/camera a home just to unplug and enjoy the day and then find a brilliant moment I wanted to capture. That’s why we have memories I guess :-) #TheList

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:32 pm

      Ooh think long and hard first but then trust your gut with your hair decision! x

  22. 25th September 2015 / 4:02 pm

    Hi Mim, I don’t think there is one Mum alive who wouldn’t go back a change something they did after having children. I couldn’t agree with you more about listening to too much advice from well meaning people. I was clueless, but it was all too much. And our gut instincts are usually right, but we are listening to all the well meaning advice we don’t hear that inner voice us Mums are equipped with.

    Cutting off your hair was a bit drastic, but hey! it grows.

    Great post, that I think will have many a Mums head nodding.


    • 26th September 2015 / 7:33 pm

      That’s so true – all of the unwanted advice can really drown out your inner voice and that’s always the one I feel I can trust :) x

  23. 25th September 2015 / 10:29 pm

    I’m regretting having not lost more weight inbetween babies. I knew I wanted another so just thought ‘what the heck’. I’m paying for it now!

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:33 pm

      Me toooooooo – I really should have made more of an effort but hey ho, I DID enjoy the chocolate ha ha! x

  24. 26th September 2015 / 12:01 am

    One thing I regret is not asking for help more. I’ve always been one of those “No, I got it!” kind of people and so I would hang in there and keep going until the littlest thing would make explode and there are some unfortunate baristas, waiters, bank tellers, who might have been the unfortunate recipients of my misplaced frustration. Anyway, the whole asking for help thing was a good life lesson. #TheList

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:34 pm

      Oh I’m with you there – you try and be super mum and really there isn’t any need for it. I wish I’d asked for people to help out more so I could get some much needed sleep :)

  25. 26th September 2015 / 11:38 am

    Oh, I agree with all that you have said – including the hair! I did the same but not after my son, before that, after my wedding. I went from elbow length to a bob as well! I’m so lucky that my hair grows quickly though x

    • 26th September 2015 / 7:35 pm

      I’m jealous, mine takes forever! At least we know never, ever to do that again ha! x

  26. NewMummyBlog
    26th September 2015 / 10:26 pm

    YES, everyone has advice, or a magic solution! I can now say ‘ah yes we’ve tried that’ or ‘I’ll try that next’… But at the start I really believed everything, and believed it could be our answer.
    I have taken a lot of videos so we do have some of H when she was tiny, and luckily my parents took a few too as they were only visiting for a short time. But, I think some of the best videos are of her developing, squirming on the floor, trying to roll over and of course crawling. Breastfeeding really is fab for loosing the weight, I definitely agree! #thelist

    • 4th October 2015 / 7:02 pm

      Ooh you have so much more patience with them than me :) x

  27. 27th September 2015 / 8:35 am

    Not vain at all cutting off you hair and regretting it. I did it when my children were older and even they hated it :)

    • 4th October 2015 / 7:02 pm

      Ha ha glad it isn’t just me – I’m still tempted but not doing it yet! x

  28. The L's Mum
    27th September 2015 / 5:59 pm

    Oh I can totally relate to this, especially the listening to too much advice and not capturing the moments enough. I look back now and wonder because it’s all a little bit of a blur now. For future children I hope to change this. Thanks for sharing #TheList

    • 4th October 2015 / 7:03 pm

      Ah I felt exactly that way too after the first baby! x

  29. 27th September 2015 / 10:16 pm

    LOL! i regret spending most of my maternity leave in a pair of ratty combats, black t-shirt and a cardigan … We also wish we had more videos, but the Tubblet was born before Smartphones and cameras were expensive. :( #brilliantblogposts

    • 4th October 2015 / 7:05 pm

      Ha ha I’m all for comfort dressing too!! x

  30. 1st October 2015 / 1:01 pm

    I had my hair chopped off too – it’s slowly growing back! I’m not sure what I regret…maybe not regret but more ‘would do differently next time’ and that would be not to be as obsessive. It was like I was allergic to change, so rather than relaxing and going with the flow I kept trying to control the situation and read many a book about how it should be, which in term stressed me out when it wasn’t like that!

    Great post xx thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

    • 4th October 2015 / 7:09 pm

      I was exactly the same – even though I knew I should relax I just couldn’t sometimes :) x

  31. Kayla
    1st October 2015 / 3:05 pm

    Completely agree with you about regretting listening to everyone’s advice. I became so worked up every time someone told me that I wasn’t doing every little thing the way they thought I should or every time non-professionals tried convincing me that there’s something wrong with my child. At some point, you really do need to learn how to tune people out unfortunately.

    • 4th October 2015 / 7:10 pm

      Oh I completely agree – I wish I’d had the courage to go with my gut instinct first time around and ignore the ‘noise’ of everyone else thinking they knew better :)

  32. 24th October 2015 / 9:38 pm

    Oh wow. I did all those things too, though a long time ago as my kids are all grown up. I listened to too much advice which made me doubt my instincts, I ate too much and I even did the hair thing – big mistake. I have a few videos of my sons when they were little – I have hundreds of my little granddaughters. ????

    • 25th October 2015 / 1:45 pm

      Ah if only we could turn back time – at least we have our memories but my brain can’t remember much these days ha!

  33. 16th March 2016 / 11:19 pm

    Yep always number 5!!!!! If only I could go back in time.

    • 17th March 2016 / 10:15 am

      Ahh I know – and I didn’t learn second time around! x

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